As our parents age, many of us face a difficult transition: realizing that our once-vibrant mom and dad may need more support than they can get at home. It’s not an easy conversation, but approaching it with empathy, understanding and a plan can make all the difference.
Corey, a writer and only child living in Laguna Niguel, is increasingly concerned about her 82-year-old parents, Susan and Jim. Accomplished professionals who enjoy the finer things in life, the couple has spent much of their retirement globe-trotting, volunteering for philanthropic causes and enjoying cultural outings with friends.
Fond memories of family beach days and their adventurous spirit now contrast with the reality of their slowing pace and increasing need for assistance as they age. Susan and Jim no longer travel, dine out or golf like they used to. Trips to art exhibits and theater performances are rare these days.
With her parents in Southern California, Corey also worries about the toll caring for her dad takes on her mom. During their phone calls and weekly visits, Jim at times appears disoriented and has difficulty recalling recent events. Meanwhile, Susan stopped tending to the heirloom tomato garden that used to bring her so much pride.
Corey would like her parents to continue enjoying the high standards they are accustomed to, even as they need more care. She sees their world shrinking and wants to help them recognize that it’s time to move somewhere with more support. However, she doesn’t know how to address sensitive topics, such as how to talk to elderly parents about moving or how to prepare for an elderly parent moving into assisted living.
How To Talk to Parents About Assisted Living
If you find yourself in a similar situation, unsure of how to broach the subjects of assisted living and moving elderly parents out of their home, you’re not alone. Talking to parents about retirement is one thing, but the challenge of how to tell your parent they need to go to a nursing home is a conversation that requires love, patience and understanding. But don’t despair. Today’s assisted living communities, like The Seville in San Clemente, are a far cry from what most people think of as nursing homes. The Seville offers inspired senior living for discerning older adults wanting to step into a luxurious lifestyle with ease and grace. However, even the mention of assisted living can be difficult at first.
Here are some tips to help you navigate the discussion:
- Choose the right time and place: Find a time when you and your parents can talk privately without distractions. Approach the conversation with empathy and sensitivity, understanding that it may be emotional for everyone involved.
- Start the conversation — now: It’s never too early to discuss the possibility of assisted living with your parents. Planting the seed early allows for open dialogue and gives them time to consider their options without feeling pressured.
- Focus on safety and well-being: Emphasize that their health and welfare is your primary concern. Frame the conversation around getting them the support they need to continue living comfortably and independently for as long as possible.
- Listen to their concerns: Allow your parents to express their feelings and concerns openly. Validate their emotions and assure them you’ll take their thoughts and preferences into consideration throughout the decision-making process.
- Provide details: Offer information about assisted living options, including amenities, services and activities. Address any misconceptions or fears they may have by sharing testimonials or arranging visits to local communities.
- Involve them in the decision-making process: Empower your parents to be active participants. Encourage them to ask questions, voice their preferences and tour potential assisted living communities to get a feel for the various environments.
- Offer support and reassurance: Let your parents know they won’t undergo this transition alone. Remind them that you’ll be there every step of the way to offer assistance and encouragement.
Remember, the conversation about assisted living is just the beginning of a journey toward finding the best care, support and quality of life for your parents as they age. Together, you can help them find a community that meets their healthcare needs while preserving their independence and dignity and opening the door to new friendships, activities and experiences.
What To Say to Someone Moving Into Assisted Living
When considering the transition to a senior living community, it’s crucial to shift the focus from what your loved ones may perceive as a loss to the many benefits and opportunities awaiting them.
Emphasizing the positive aspects of the move — such as enriching opportunities for new friendships, engaging activities and personalized support — can help alleviate apprehension and instill confidence and excitement about their next phase.
The Seville in San Clemente offers a brand-new upscale assisted living and memory care community. Opening this fall, we will welcome seniors who need thoughtfully delivered professional care and support or just an occasional helping hand.
Located between Los Angeles and San Diego, The Seville offers an elegant and maintenance-free lifestyle with soothing coastal-inspired interiors, gourmet dining, luxury amenities, vibrant social activities, spacious apartment homes and breathtaking Pacific sunset views.
While The Seville is still under construction, our dedicated team is ready to welcome you and your loved one to our Discovery Center for personalized appointments. Schedule a visit today to learn more.
Featured Image: Viktoriia Hnatiuk / Shutterstock