Ann and Mark had always been adventurous. After retiring, they bought an RV and spent years exploring the country and visiting national parks. With their two grown children settled into their own lives, this couple of 50 years relished their freedom on the open road.
However, as time passed, Mark started experiencing heart and knee issues. The man who once climbed mountains and trekked through forests now struggled with daily activities. Ann took on more responsibilities, ensuring Mark took his medications, attending doctor appointments, and assisting him with mobility. Their once spontaneous and carefree life has shifted, as Ann now wonders, “Can a wife be a caregiver for her husband?”
It can be challenging when the person you’ve shared so much of your life with starts to feel more like a patient than a partner. As roles shift and responsibilities grow, feeling overwhelmed and uncertain is natural. How do you provide spousal caregiver support? When do you know it’s time to seek extra help? And how do you maintain your relationship amid these changes? This blog explores what happens when a spouse becomes a caregiver, the emotional and physical challenges it entails, and how an assisted living community like The Seville of San Clemente can help.
Challenges of Being a Spouse Caregiver
Being a caregiver for a spouse changes the relationship dynamic. Watching your partner’s health decline can be heartbreaking, and you may experience feelings of grief, anxiety and helplessness. Caregiving also can be physically demanding, especially if your partner requires assistance with daily activities such as showering, dressing and mobility. The demands of caregiving can limit your social interactions, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Balancing the roles of a caregiver and a spouse also can be confusing and challenging, often leading to a sense of lost intimacy and partnership.
Can a Spouse Be Paid as a Caregiver?
When becoming a caregiver for a spouse, there are plenty of resources available. You may be eligible to be compensated depending on the state, available programs and care needed. Here are a few options in California.
- In-Home Supportive Services (IHSS) Program. Funded by Medi-Cal (California’s Medicaid program), the program allows eligible individuals to hire family members, including spouses, as caregivers. It provides support to those who are aged, blind or disabled and require assistance to live safely at home.
- Aid & Attendance Pension Benefit. The Department of Veterans Affairs offers benefits to pay family caregivers, including spouses, for providing care to eligible veterans.
- Long-Term Care Insurance. If the care recipient has a long-term care insurance policy, it may include provisions allowing for payments to family members, including spouses, for caregiving services.
- Consumer-Directed Personal Assistance Services (CDPAS). California has care programs that allow individuals to hire and pay family members, including spouses, to provide personal care services.
Balancing Caregiving and Maintaining Your Relationship
Can a spouse be a caregiver while maintaining a healthy relationship? Yes! If you’re a caregiver for a spouse, here are some helpful tips.
- Communicate often: Keep an open line of communication with your partner. Discuss your feelings, fears and concerns. Sharing your emotions can strengthen your bond and help you cope with the changes.
- Seek support: Ask for help from family, friends or support groups. Sharing responsibilities can alleviate some of the stress and provide you with much-needed respite.
- Set boundaries: Avoid caregiver burnout by allocating specific times for caregiving duties and personal time to ensure you also care for yourself.
- Stay connected: Make time for activities you both enjoy and can do together, even if it’s something simple like watching a favorite show or having a meal together.
Several signs indicate it might be time to take a step back and consider additional support or professional help. If your partner’s needs exceed what you can provide safely and effectively, it’s crucial to seek assistance. Feeling constantly exhausted, irritable or depressed are also significant indicators that you may need help. Additionally, if your health is declining due to the stress and physical demands of caregiving, consider exploring residence options that provide care, such as The Seville.
The Support You Need in the Setting You Deserve
Opening this fall and nestled close to everything there is to love about Orange County, The Seville will redefine senior living with comfort, dignity and undeniable style. We understand that caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your loved one. That’s why our senior living community is the ideal solution if you’re a caregiver for a spouse and would benefit from spousal caregiver support.
At The Seville, residents will delight in engaging daily activities, restaurant-style dining and spacious, thoughtfully designed interiors. With larger-than-average floor plans and a comprehensive range of services, from daily assistance to medical support, your loved one will receive top-notch care.
In our supportive community, both caregivers and their loved ones can forge meaningful connections. And with professional caregivers handling daily tasks, you can focus on maintaining your relationship and enjoying quality time together. While The Seville wraps up construction, our team is available for one-on-one appointments at the Discovery Center. Plan a visit to learn more.
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